CT IS OVA! oops, too into bio... OVER I MEAN! i wanted to post soo much, that im too lazy to do so, so ill do a short anecdote of my ahma's bday :) enjoy

LONG AGO.... in a distant land which you have never heard of.... no seriously, cause i didnt hear of it too. one man created a monstrosity. ever since then, the fiend was caught in the crossfire, stealing the favours of those who find him sweet, and those who find him revolting. evr since then, a war began. it was O.W.W.

LOL! didnt expect the initials to be so ironic. but yeah, back to the plot

O.W.W

thus begins...

Orhnii world war

DAN DAN DANNN. i need to start hiring a organ player in my daily life. i could get use to the tensions. haha.

for those who havent heard, that thing is actually edible. as i stare into the chasm of gruel, i shiver, anything time now, a hand might just shoot out and cry "SAVE ME!" and bubble down into the swamp below

but every villian needs a hero! bring in the Z.A.O-zealousy against orhnii club.

every family gathering, while the adults talk about their boring lives (no offence.tee hee :p)

we converse about our not so boring lives, till the last dish is served, and we shudder when we ask "whats for dessert.

Z.A.O! assemble! (oxymoronic .haha)

You may thinking "these guys have lost the war!" but thats our war faces. yes people, do not be deceived, for this is the face we plant INTENTIONALLY so parents' hearts shatter as they see us vomitting it out after we put it in our mouths, the only problem is, we cant differentiate the appearance, so for 'orhh' u noe, we might have regurgitated and swallowed it back! HAHAH

as you guys recover from heartburn and disgust after reading the previous statement, heres what we did at Ah ma's BDAY :) happy bday ah ma, this poist is dedicated to ya, though its pretty late. blame the MOE for torturing our lives with common tests in which i screwed relatively.

picture a screwed half driven through a piece of wood. yup. the pathetic plank of wood's common test and the screw is my life. haha. my life is so borring .ahahha

as you recover from a cold snap after reading the past sentence, please note that the orhnii wars started when orhnii actually was introduced to the ZAO club, which did not ZAO, cause there was no orhnii, so it'd just be ZA, which doesnt make sense.lol.anyway...

it happened last year, and we asked " what's for dessert " our uncles and aunties give us menacing smiles, and we looked nervous and shifty . the O word was said

dionne: what's orhnii?

DEsmond "its some yam paste "

Mel"issit nice"

desmond gave us a dissection of the word

LISTEN TO THE NAME

ORH -BLACK IN HOKKIEN

NII- SAND or DIRT

now scroll up to the top pic above, and as you suffer from another round of heart burn, you

realise russ should consult the health promotion board about this .

the worse part? IT doesnt taste half bad

cant judge a book by its cver. i say lets judge, because its appearance is really bad, and i cant bear to eat it

SO HERE COMES THE Z.A.O's guide to surviving orhnii

1. play seven up! tip: younger cousins play buffer for this game. its a stessful game, but shouldnt be a problem if yr good at numbers.

just a good thing to let u guys know i ate one bowl that day.haha. this proves to me, i dont find strentgh in numbers.

2. "hey is that ryan seacrest?"

the oldest trick in the book, but most versatile. i usually use it to kop fries from friends when in the school compound. an easy "hi sir " is good enuff to spur the most alert of friends to take a look at the looming teacher behind them. of course called mr kong qi

this is a lil different though, u actually want them to receive the package, and thats tougher, cause when a fry goes into yr mouth, its a lost cause, but if extr orhnii goes onto their bowl, they tend to know. especially when its clumpy texture doesnt help with the sneak attack

here are some tips :

1.

sit next to a cousin or friend who tends to drink coke (its good to know who loves paying extra to their dentist) . why? because coke is opaque, while sprite is transparent. nuff said

2.

a stirrer works magic. incoperate this in 1. a diffused orhnii is a less clumpy one

3.

love yr orhnii loving cousin more, and/or make him love it

case scenario:

u : hey, remember that time when i treated u to ice cream?

cousin: really? was it nice

u :of course, it was yr favourite flavour!

cousin :whats that (this dude's a bit tick skulled, but im sure at least 1 of yr cousin is .heheh)

u :yeah, its for dessert, u ll see

*Orhnii arrives*

cousin : are u sure? this doesnt even look like ice cream. hey.. i dont even remember u treating me

u :uh...yes i did

cousin:prove it! where did i eat this ice cream , or if its even .. worthy of being called sludge.eww

u: yes. i treated u . it was at that place.... on that day

cousin :which one?

U: *panicky* uh.uh... GEYLANG SERAI!

cousin. ohhh.. that one, i remember now. the one with the awesome roj-

U: ahhh! just eat it already *shoves bowl down his throat *

EFFECTIVE!:)

got more suggestions? tag em on the board. this isnt a desperate attempt to revive my tag board

*looks around nervously *

IP!

- orhnii

stare into the thick muck

soup or gravy, or dish water!?

lumps the size of a hockey puck

i try to scoop, my hands falter

the thick stuff goes down

the bile rises up

i give a frown

i give a gulp

use orhnii as a swear word

it might just be insulting.

lol! last 2 lines fail. o well:P night

GROUP OUTING

i was trying to make time for a mass blog post on how awsome this group outing had been. but i didnt have the time

now ive got7 days of hme to make up for it

got a fever, and the doc gave me 7 days mc, dunno whether to feel happy or sad :(/:)

yeah, so since i have the time, lets recount the awesomeness that was 18th of july 2009:

reached habourfront station at 9. wow. the punctuality that was me, but i couldnt spot eugene, which is rather ironic, since he is really short la huh. HAHA. so i decided to call him. using my ultra super phone which stores contacts which my mom knows, i found a contact called eugene YM. but apparently it was an old no ause when i called, an indian man picked up the phone. i almost burst out laughing, but eventualy i found him , he and minqhee were already there so we waited for the rest while sitting down and passing the volleyball how volley balls are supposed to be passed. kinda like taking holy communion yea? yup, so the basketball was like richochetting in all directions till the rest of the crew came: jared, audrey, wayne, jiaeenn, deon and shawn

we headed to the lil monorail thing which was quite a blast to take. haha. nopt fair la, aik tuck takes the monorail home everyday. its quite a joyride. when we finally reached Singapore's island resort, we took a stroll to the beach and played volley ball. wow. i stink at volleyball. HAHA. its official that spastic people cant play that sport. i was totally displaying my lag time prowness. HAHA! contray to that, jiaeenn, shawn and minqhee were pretty good, eugene was just trying to pull ronaldos, diving or everything .HAHA. and shawn just killed us with his highly "intellectual jokes"

What game uses a body part

it sounds rather suggestive i know, but the answer is chess.

THE LAMEST PUN EVER!!! ARGHH

after many rounds of volleyball, in which i wasnt too good at, we moved on to more familiar ground. BASKETBALL! WOOTS

woman of the match :audrey cause her shooting is really good

man of the match : unfortunately wasnt me.im jk! .HAHA. yeah, Deon really imparted lots of skills frm weilong. he's really a good handler and shooter :)

we moved on to the water, and the ocean there seemed to exude some thereputic qualities, in oher words, we were being pushed by the waves alot.lol. we were in the water for along time and did things from playing with twigs to throwing sea kelp into people's pants. yea. the wonders of youth.lol

i was looking around, till i saw a small little leaf floating n the water. i took a closer look hey , is that leaf swiiming!? the creaturehad a small tail ,and it was wiggling. at first i thought it was some optical illusion made by the waves but it turned out to be some fascinating little fish like creature. jared said it was a sword fish and shawn freaked out.LOL . apparntly swrd fish are dangerous creatures caused they once terrorised the civilians of eary singapore.HAHA.Shawn should sto watching robbie and the book of tales.

we left sentosa at about 3.30 and made or wy to vivo for dinner. first carl's jonior meal. WOAH. the food there is really impressive. it was the first time i had doubts abt finishing my burger, and also the first time i really blew it on food.HAHA. e ended "lunch at five" and decided to kai kai around vivo.lol.

came across this stall called "softie in my lollie" its some sweet stall selling long strips of candy.

the menu was really a subject for yr thoughts

One long thing-3.30

Threesome-5.50

hmmmm. disturbing. how do you order without sounding like some pervert.lol! the only other place where u could such a thing would be at like.. geylang. not that i would know of course...*looks around shiftily*

then there was the african stall

HAHA.

the african guy was quite a pusher. kept dragging us to the side as forcing necklaces on us, telling us its qualties. minqhee got pulled to buy it like thrice.

i shouldnt have touched one of the necklaces cause he also draged me to the mirror afterward

African dude: i give you power necklace. this necklace will make you into a warrior

so he coos in a african shaman fashion

and he makes me wear some cool looking necklace. its ten dolars for one btw. -.-

he then points to a photo frame in front of me. its a picture of him and minister mentor lee kwan yew. AWESOME

african store owner dude : this is the same necklace i gave to yr minister lee kwan yew

in my mind i was like :
yea, but the only difference was they he didnt actually have to payfor it.LOL

yeah, but he finally convinced me to buy it after halving its price, cause to tell you the truth, i wanted to buy it if it wasnt so expensive, so my wish had been granted :)

yeah, so we walked around and left at about 6 plus. for me, it wasnt the end of my traverse journey. it was time for ice cream! whee

unfortunately, like half the encounter team couldnt make it. so the only people who came were the gossip guys (XOX...O) and olivia, but we decided to be dears, and only spent half of the 80 bucks worth of vouchers.haha.

yup, but the convo on the way home was the best

tim , matthew olivia and nigel were talking abt sm dude ( who is extremely dashing an equally AWESOME ) doing weights

at that moment i didnt know who they were talking bout

Russ : who ? Who's doing weights

matthew: oh, we were talking bout you, do you do weights?

russ: LOL. noooo. why, are you trying to say im buff?haha

All the rest: noo, were trying to say ur short

i need a penknife for my birthday

haha

yup , it was a mad convo, and nigel also was escribed as a pervertic looking guy, by matthew LOL. poor nigel , has a pervertic face, and no pervertic attitude to back up his features.lol. time to sign up for classes frm yi hui

but yeah. the group outing was awesome, i wanna thank everyone for making it so fantastic, and ive got quite a tan, tht can rival to half of clarence, which is pretty above average liao.LOL. alrighty. im off.

stay in schhol, while i rot at home.

i know you hate me for now.XOXO

totally into

doing haikus what a great

string of emjambment


yeah man. haikus are awesome. haha. got a cool to phrase to live by

"Dont blame God for creating the tiger, thank him for not giving it wings"

wasnt the most easy of days. it was a monday, which already burns, followed by heavy lessons, lack of sleep, new enemy pimples, and some unexpected tweets by a new little bird friend i made.haha

i haven t thanked the lord for a long timeee

so firstly, i wanna thank god for another day onthis earth, hopefully i used it well to impact people ive met. i know it sounds really negative, but its not. haha

cause each days a gift and not a given right:)

yeap

2nd, i wanna thank the lord for the great friends i ve made in my life so far, and also my spritual friends who have been guiding me along the way, when im going astray

3rd. i wanna thank my dad for my mom and dad, who are nagging and dragging me to school, though im not very keen to. they give me the best reasons of why im in school, and it keeps me going :)

4th . i wanna thank the lord for brining me to school. haha, though i m not a fan, but i do find joy thre once in a while with my eccentric class :) MEGAN FOX!!!!!

5th . i wanna thank the lord for TROUBLES, yep. i thank god for placing all the horrible trials and obstacles in my life, because with out pain, i wouldnt know whats happiness.

without cold, you wouldnt feel warm

without pain, there wouldnt be health

without noise, there wouldnt me sound

without inspiration from paul coelho and jason mraz's song, dont think i woul think so pholosiphically. haha. thank god for them too.

well, im off to bed :)

Its a thursday. the worst day of the school timetable.

i dont really like school, my mom would know. she was worried when i told her i wanted to be hobo when i grow up.haha

but once in a while... i do enjoy my day at school

Tday was one of the days

lets list down minor parts of happiness

1. marcus ryan didnt manage to headbutt me today. phew.

2. my wussy hoop shooting is slowing picking up. 

3. my ankle collapsed in spasm again when i was about to shoot, but i didnt fall, so clarence didnt laugh at me.LOL

4. school was pretty fun

More indepth reasons to my liking for school today

warning: may contain rather disturbing content

first period:

english... ahhhhh. reading passages from a story called "coffee for the road" only emphasizes the lack of sleep im getting.haha

but we did something different today. we are supposed to be doing a presentation next week

an its somewhat a debate. and we have to play roles and all. and we have to wear hats

made of mahjong paper. so it was pretty fun, we had a crash course on how to fold hats of a different colour into different types of occupations

blue was the bishop shaped hat

red is a sargent i think

i got a green hat, so i have to fold mine into a painters hat. but it doesnt really loo like a painters hat. more like .... those dumplings u eat during hari raya i think. and the green adds to the look. haha. well, geen is my fav colour, so its excued if i look like a wuss.

ill try to get pictures. cant wait to see royston and clarence in a hat

Biology:

we got a new teacher. i agreed i'd failed for bio again. haha! but we shouldnt judge  trainee teacher by its cover ok.. she turns out to carry out quite an entertaining lesson. and its not 

only because we are learning about reproduction ok... in fact it was highly disturbing. but i just couldnt help but laugh at one part. micheal bay had some influence on our class apparently....

teacher : does anyone know of any animals who has a scrotum inside the body instead of outside, like humans (i felt rather violated, and not in the good way. why the hell would  go to the zoo and inspect an animal in that way!?!)

class has chattered discussion

josh: Megan fox!

LOL!!!!!!!!!

teacher: megan fox? no. a mouse does (i didnt knw that , will look out for it next time i see one)

class laughs, teacher ponders for a while

teacher: megan fox..... megan fox is sexy. 

LOL>WTHECK WAS THAT! HAHAHA

CLASS laughs and applauds

my teacher is a woman by the way. but she just gained access into our megan fox fan club. HAAH

enjoyed school alot today. played bbal till it rained, and i headed home. god had a new joke planned for me:) .haha

to lessen the impact, lets do this in  form of an interview or such

Why you should get to know me :

i have a psp.

why i have muscles:

my psp is not the slim one, and its heavy, and every labels it as psp-fat. nich and i feel offended

why you shldnt ask to borrow my psp:

i play in when im in the toilet

why shldnt i have modified it:

it hangs once in a while

why  shldnt play the psp in the toilet:

when it hangs, i have to take out the battery

*plop.*

i stared in the bowl for 1 and a half seconds. should i fish it out?

i fished it out. my poor psp battery! AHHHH

i grabbed a couple of tissues and wiped it dry

Why i believe theres a god watching over me 1:

the battery landed in the non toxic areas, if u know what i mean.LOL.

Why god gave me a nose:

i cringed and took a whiff after i wiped it clean

Why im glad i wasnt having diarrhoea:

it didnt have any smell .phew

why i know theres a God 2:

the battery still works

why this does good to me making puns:

i cant say my psp is full of crap and snigger upon the hidden meaning.LOl

why i wont be gettin g a wife any time soon for a good 20 years. 

cause i posted this online. i have to move to timbaktoo soon, or some island where there isnt an internet connection.haha

what im gonna do next:

no im not gonna drop it n again.-.-

when my mom gets home, ill ask her for some alcohol wipes.

im the epitome of disgusting la. i know, but it isnt my first time reaching into the bowl, cause did it in camp b4... haha. can still remeber that. alright. u guys can throw darts at me for being such a dumbass.lol. good bye.

smoo..th talker

aven? is that how i spell his name? haha. wants me to do a poem on a new food in our school canteen. smoo ice cream. apparently, my seniors read my blog, which is highly disturbing... but i better not say too much stuff on a narrative basis like that, cause gabriel will be reciting everything i typed the next time he meets me. v creepy. haha. okok. dedicated for aven la, i dont usually do this, but he already did half of it for me, so oh well. the first threee lines are his

SMOO

when i eat smoo

i feel really cool

but yet im a fool

to make this ice cream come through,

apparently, the cows were a tool

for this calcium filled cesspool

why are they in farms , and not in a zoo?

cause they provide the calcium for u

winnie the pooh



lol. oh well, i dont usually do topical poems..-.- but i admit it was fun doing a cow poem on my online dairy... oops i mean diary. i try too hard with my jokes huh..haha. well, school life has certanily taken a toll on me

now when i play bball, i have this sharp pain on my spine.. hmmm.
note to self: move to notre dame when it becomes too serious.
this is sad, next time when i go ns, cannot use guns, and have to sit in office play fb and winterbells.. oh man...

history stinks

i blame parameswara. if he didnt come into singapore, he wouldnt get me so confused .cant we just dig up the thingy at fort canning and check whether its him?

see la butterfly effect. eh people, next time when yr get children, remind them not to invade other countries, kill the political head and take the throne, get eventually chased out, and build a new country. it causes alot of problems in the heuristic aspect of history.

oh well. have to get ready for another day of shool. sigh, cant believe i have to go through another half my lifee of this... bit oh well

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH GOD WHO STRENGTHENS ME

wah... gabriels gonna have fun repeating this the next time i see him.lolsss

Cause things just keep comin up

If life gives you tears, taste them as they fall , if life gives you laughter, let it out.



cause life is too short to deprive yourself of experiences.



i heard about the unfortunate accident which happened at PLMGSS. and i am truly remorseful of what has happened. may she rest in peace, and may her friends feel relieved that their friend is going to be with her awesome dad- our father lord himself



to live is christ, to die is gain



on a lighter note, heres some crazy stuff thats happening in school. lots of teachers are getting quarantined, and i feel vcheated of my school fees, staring at countless amounts of relief teachers in my class. haha. clarence asked me to do a cover for him for his history file. im sorry clarence, but i really feel that a perky looking file is v important. so this is what i churned out. eh people, relish this moment, cause 50 percent clarence wont use this cover, unless under high amounts of desperation, and the other 50 percent is tht hell own me for uploading this, and giving him the hard copy in schl tmrw.LOL











































LOL. best cover man. haha! :)

oh well, there's like school tmrw -.-


SIGH. lets make a poem out of it!


Its school term again




where jacks see only jacks, and are deprived of jane


i blame my hormones for my last line


but honestly school is so unkind,


providing torture for the average teen


its slavery which the governement considers clean


conforming us to a dumb ooking uniform


so we would be... well uniform


the last two rhymes were lame and uninteresting cause it was both the same word


but thats my point, we all look the same, like white beancurd


which is always white, boring and like a nerd!


laugh out loud, i couldnt find anything that rhymed with turd

but because i ended with turd again, i have to find a rhyme


err.. my food goes down my gullet





lol. i give up manxzxzx. i killed myself. hard poem. haha. oh well, its day 3 and my sis and my mom is reprimanding me on slacking. hmm..... i have to find something to study. sigh..,.

oh well, night guys. god bless :)

well, its back to school , another ten weeks of walking the same direction... cross the road, cut through the carpark, cut through some new metal structure roof thingy they convinently popped infront of the dirt path which saves 15 seconds of my life. walk the dirt path, therefore saving 15 seconds of my life, walk a concrete path, cross down the path with a nice outlining of a graffiti, but nvr finished, most probably the cool dudes got stopped by the police. but its really an awesome sight, its like the first commendable graffiti ive seen under the bridges of sg. v cool. then i have to take a bus, reach the gates of my school, unplug my earphones, message my mom that i have reached, and not abducted by aliens or fallen into elvis' secret lair, cause those stuff happen alot.lol. no la, i have to message my mom, cause there was once where i was tired, and decided to watch tv mobile, and i was complacent, cause i was expecting other people to press the bell. but none did! the nerve of those singaporeons, knowing thatim a student, and i hold the future of the country in those very hands, and yet do not press the bell. proposterous.

yeah, and when i finally live off the denial that im more than a student conforming to the laws of society (LOL) i get off my bus, switch off my phone and walk into the compound of my concentration cam- i mean school:)

ILL BE DOING THIS FOR 10 WEEKS. adults who think sitting in your office, sit down and think. do you have a computer in front of you? do we? no. lol. at least u can play minesweepers, or RC abit. we cant even read a book without getting daggers thrown at us.

how humane is it to need to raise your hand to use the washroom? its a call of freakin nature! haha. face it adults, u get it better than us.

coincidentally, mr koh showed us a vid on the best job in the world.paying someone to test luxury resorts in great barrier reef. u have to cover a minimum of 25 resorts. yeah. their practically paying u to have too much fun and rate it!?thats too sick !

then we did some job evalution thingy , and the streaming subjects and all. i personally thought doing art as an extra elec over my selected elect would be cool, but my mom protests, sayin there isnt so mmuch time. lol. oh well.

yeah. so ten weeks worth of 2 time temperature taking, hushing a noisy class, sleeping early, keeping pathetic hairstlyes, and hanging out with my noisy brathers, like nigel, and the not so noisy brathers like clarence. oh wellz.

speaking of hair cut.. HAHA

if u still havent seen my new hairstlye, u most probably have, but u didnt recognise me.

3 people in my freaking class said they didnt recogise me!!! WTH?! i feel thats too drama la. one guy even told me, when he saw me walk into the class, he thought i was a new addition to my class.T.T. like srsly guys....

many people cant recognise me from the back, and most of my school mates whom i bump into give me the who are you face.LOL. its so demoralising, all because i have to conform to the pattern of the world, and not be renewd by the spirit la... i know this was totally referenced from the bible, and it only further emphasizes how we shouldnt be forced to cut or hair. T-T.

yeah, and today , when i walked into the class queing outside our class room, heres the scenario:

Russ: hey guys (smiles, like the awesome guy he is)

yi hui; issit me, or is russ getting more and more pimples?

nigel: yea, i agree

yi hui: ya, he like clarence. the same


AHHHHHHH!!! THANKS FOR BROADCASTING THE WAR I HAVE WITH MY ACNE! hahah. wow, u guys gave me the best salutation i could ever get. insulting me with opiniating against my crop field on my face is bad enough, but comparing me to clarence. thats just wrong.HAHA

no offence to clarence. but walau... a classic hi would do better. but ok , fine i get the HINT. hahaa. two things to say

1. yi hui, ehhh pot calling kettle blackHAHA

2. nigel . watch out, when hernshung uploads the XOXO vid, ill post it on FB, hack into our school's broadcasting network, and post it, and put the youtube link on all ERP gantries in singapore. also, ill remix the vid, so yr sexy voice will be in all clubs in singapore. HAHAHAA

yup, ill play decepticon today. and i still havent watched transformers. ahh. soon. friday, so slose, yet soo far. its tearing me apart.. and i cant remeber the rest of the lyric from hoobastank.

yea. two days have passed in school, and ive lost many neurons to lame jokes, constant shouting of "megan fox" in music class (long story, sorry guys with raging hormones) and lame lines by my brother jereld. this is the best ive heard this week

"im so bored, theyve started sticking notes on me."

LOL. oh well, ive already passed my bedtime. see ya guys