CT IS OVA! oops, too into bio... OVER I MEAN! i wanted to post soo much, that im too lazy to do so, so ill do a short anecdote of my ahma's bday :) enjoy

LONG AGO.... in a distant land which you have never heard of.... no seriously, cause i didnt hear of it too. one man created a monstrosity. ever since then, the fiend was caught in the crossfire, stealing the favours of those who find him sweet, and those who find him revolting. evr since then, a war began. it was O.W.W.

LOL! didnt expect the initials to be so ironic. but yeah, back to the plot

O.W.W

thus begins...

Orhnii world war

DAN DAN DANNN. i need to start hiring a organ player in my daily life. i could get use to the tensions. haha.

for those who havent heard, that thing is actually edible. as i stare into the chasm of gruel, i shiver, anything time now, a hand might just shoot out and cry "SAVE ME!" and bubble down into the swamp below

but every villian needs a hero! bring in the Z.A.O-zealousy against orhnii club.

every family gathering, while the adults talk about their boring lives (no offence.tee hee :p)

we converse about our not so boring lives, till the last dish is served, and we shudder when we ask "whats for dessert.

Z.A.O! assemble! (oxymoronic .haha)

You may thinking "these guys have lost the war!" but thats our war faces. yes people, do not be deceived, for this is the face we plant INTENTIONALLY so parents' hearts shatter as they see us vomitting it out after we put it in our mouths, the only problem is, we cant differentiate the appearance, so for 'orhh' u noe, we might have regurgitated and swallowed it back! HAHAH

as you guys recover from heartburn and disgust after reading the previous statement, heres what we did at Ah ma's BDAY :) happy bday ah ma, this poist is dedicated to ya, though its pretty late. blame the MOE for torturing our lives with common tests in which i screwed relatively.

picture a screwed half driven through a piece of wood. yup. the pathetic plank of wood's common test and the screw is my life. haha. my life is so borring .ahahha

as you recover from a cold snap after reading the past sentence, please note that the orhnii wars started when orhnii actually was introduced to the ZAO club, which did not ZAO, cause there was no orhnii, so it'd just be ZA, which doesnt make sense.lol.anyway...

it happened last year, and we asked " what's for dessert " our uncles and aunties give us menacing smiles, and we looked nervous and shifty . the O word was said

dionne: what's orhnii?

DEsmond "its some yam paste "

Mel"issit nice"

desmond gave us a dissection of the word

LISTEN TO THE NAME

ORH -BLACK IN HOKKIEN

NII- SAND or DIRT

now scroll up to the top pic above, and as you suffer from another round of heart burn, you

realise russ should consult the health promotion board about this .

the worse part? IT doesnt taste half bad

cant judge a book by its cver. i say lets judge, because its appearance is really bad, and i cant bear to eat it

SO HERE COMES THE Z.A.O's guide to surviving orhnii

1. play seven up! tip: younger cousins play buffer for this game. its a stessful game, but shouldnt be a problem if yr good at numbers.

just a good thing to let u guys know i ate one bowl that day.haha. this proves to me, i dont find strentgh in numbers.

2. "hey is that ryan seacrest?"

the oldest trick in the book, but most versatile. i usually use it to kop fries from friends when in the school compound. an easy "hi sir " is good enuff to spur the most alert of friends to take a look at the looming teacher behind them. of course called mr kong qi

this is a lil different though, u actually want them to receive the package, and thats tougher, cause when a fry goes into yr mouth, its a lost cause, but if extr orhnii goes onto their bowl, they tend to know. especially when its clumpy texture doesnt help with the sneak attack

here are some tips :

1.

sit next to a cousin or friend who tends to drink coke (its good to know who loves paying extra to their dentist) . why? because coke is opaque, while sprite is transparent. nuff said

2.

a stirrer works magic. incoperate this in 1. a diffused orhnii is a less clumpy one

3.

love yr orhnii loving cousin more, and/or make him love it

case scenario:

u : hey, remember that time when i treated u to ice cream?

cousin: really? was it nice

u :of course, it was yr favourite flavour!

cousin :whats that (this dude's a bit tick skulled, but im sure at least 1 of yr cousin is .heheh)

u :yeah, its for dessert, u ll see

*Orhnii arrives*

cousin : are u sure? this doesnt even look like ice cream. hey.. i dont even remember u treating me

u :uh...yes i did

cousin:prove it! where did i eat this ice cream , or if its even .. worthy of being called sludge.eww

u: yes. i treated u . it was at that place.... on that day

cousin :which one?

U: *panicky* uh.uh... GEYLANG SERAI!

cousin. ohhh.. that one, i remember now. the one with the awesome roj-

U: ahhh! just eat it already *shoves bowl down his throat *

EFFECTIVE!:)

got more suggestions? tag em on the board. this isnt a desperate attempt to revive my tag board

*looks around nervously *

IP!

- orhnii

stare into the thick muck

soup or gravy, or dish water!?

lumps the size of a hockey puck

i try to scoop, my hands falter

the thick stuff goes down

the bile rises up

i give a frown

i give a gulp

use orhnii as a swear word

it might just be insulting.

lol! last 2 lines fail. o well:P night